I bought this book thinking and hoping that I would learn more about another autistic woman’s experience and more about autism, and in turn, learn more about my autistic identity.
At the age of thirty five, Jennifer was diagnosed with Asperger's and for the first time in her life, things finally made sense. Her journey is one of self-discovery as a thoroughly modern woman. She does touch on a few sensitive issues, but they have trigger warnings. And it does read as ‘very American’. I know I’m not reading about a woman in the UK, let alone a woman in Europe.
I’ll admit that initially I was put off by the title and saw the bright red heels on the cover. It made me think of Lolita and dressing up in Manolo Blahnik shoes. With a demure, virginal white skirt. It comes off as objectifying and autistic women are already objectified, first as a woman and secondly as an autistic woman.
The style is also odd. Part memoir, part anecdotes etc. it’s very disjointed. It jumps all the place from her children, to her as an adult and then her as a child. It’s not fluid nor linear. My autistic brain really struggled with this style of narrative.
Her journey starts through her children. She started to consider what would autism look like in heels? Instead of the boyish special interests like trains and time tables, how would that interest present in autistic women?
She goes into detail about bad hair styles to body image, sexuality and self-esteem. She talks a lot about her relationships, with her children, boyfriends, husband, colleagues, friends and a lot about her mother.
Jennifer's journey "looks a bit different in pink," and so continues the infantilising of being a woman on the spectrum. Including the self styled ‘Chick-List Checklist”. I’ll be honest, I had to put the book down at this point. Every feminist bone in my body was screeching. Also, there weren’t many items I could identify with. She has lived a very different life to my own. I struggled to find any commonalities.
Even worse was the complete lack of awareness re her privilege ie as a white woman, a pretty woman, a successful career woman etc. let alone any awareness of intersectionality. And the most inappropriate use of Sojourner Truth quotes. (To the point where I actually wondered what kind of editor she had.)
We know that most girls and women who are on the spectrum are not identified early enough. Would or could this book change that? Not for me, but if it helps someone else, then that’s great. We can’t all like the same books. And we all have different journeys. After all, “Our story isn’t over yet”.
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